Alison And Wendy

Let us do the talking. You just be pretty.

Alison and Wendy are Alison Rosen and Wendy Molyneux. They are involved in various exciting endeavors including book writing, television being on, magazine editing, celebrity interviewing, list making, script writing, comedy performing and, if you are Wendy, buying sandwiches for your sister's family with whom you are going to the zoo.

Need to know more about Wendy's book? We thought so.

LINKS WE LIKE

Corporate Casual
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Chris Monks
Jeff Drake

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Mon Dec 28

Meet Wendy’s dog

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Alison just thought about it again

Wendy: The dog we rescued had been horrifically neglected
We had to do a Swan-style makeover on her
remember that show?
Alison: braces and nose job?
Wendy: practically
they made everyone on that show look like a stripper
Alison: I often wonder what would happen if you took your dog to a plastic surgeon and asked for some plastic surgery for your dog
and it's upsetting that I OFTEN wonder this
but I do
Wendy: wow, how often?
like every few minutes?
Alison: more often than I think about sex
Wendy: hmmm
Alison: is that unusual?
I just figure everyone thinks about it
or is doing it
Wendy: maybe you could combine those thoughts and think about having sex with the perfect dog
Alison: I'm thinking about it right now
Wendy: hotttt
Alison: totally hotttttt

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Sun Dec 27

Alison wants to know if you are going to take the 'bucks.

Wendy: how do people in new york feel about that "Empire State" song by Jay-Z?
Alison: mostly I hear negative reactions to it
Wendy: I feel like if someone wrote a song about LA, I'd be like, cool it
Alison: and by that I mean I read negative reactions on twitter
Wendy: of COURSE you love New York. Jay-Z, you're a fucking billionaire
Alison: yeah
Wendy: you can buy a taxi and drive it around central park. right? that's what people do in new york?
Alison: that's the dream, yes. to own your own taxi
Wendy: young Broadway dancers say, "someday i'll buy a taxi and drive it around central park!"
Alison: it's what so many songs are about
Wendy: then i'll buy a subway car and ride it to see the statue of liberty with rudolph giuliani! and the musical "Cats."
Alison: I'm going to one day own my own subway car and then I'll charge exorbitant rates to give people rides. I'll be like Daddy Warbucks. if he had anything to do with subways
Wendy: he did
Alison: I suspected he did
Wendy: that's why they call subways "warbucks"
Alison: Ah! I never made the connection before
Wendy: there you go
Alison: when I'm in a rush I just say, "I'm going to take the 'bucks"
Wendy: yes. you do say that
Alison: like, "Are you going to call a friend who owns a cab or are you going to take the 'bucks?"

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Mon Jun 8

Alison has a new web show called The Daily Alison and she hopes you will tune in. Perhaps you’d like to watch this video? Yes, yes you would. Oh and hi Wendy, hope you don’t mind I’m borrowing this space to promote the living shit out of myself.

Your obnoxious friend,

Alison

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Fri Mar 27

this is a stylish daytime post

ALISON: hi!
WENDY: hello!
ALISON: how goes it?
WENDY: good
thinking about putting some pants on soon
ALISON: what kind of pants?
it's interesting because I'm thinking about taking some pants off soon
WENDY: just, you know, daytime pants
ALISON: I have daytime pants too!
WENDY: like people wear who don't work from home
ALISON: oh
wait
that's a different type of daytime pant
WENDY: this sweater and pajama bottoms look i'm rocking is great, mind you
ALISON: you're talking full on public pants
WENDY: wait, tell me more about your daytime pants
signed, curious in california
ALISON: well they're really my writing pants
which if you say it fast sounds like riding pants
hence, conjures some kind of stylish jodpurs
but no
they are velour sweat pants
elastic waist
WENDY: oh, very 2002
ALISON: draw string
WENDY: go onnnnnnnnnn
ALISON: they're also for light erranding
WENDY: i just got a daytime boner
ALISON: often I'll wear them in the morning, take a shower, and then put them back on
that's when I really feel good about the way my life is going

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Thu Mar 26

Wendy has taken her profile down.

WENDY: okay let's pretend like it's three months ago and discuss the movie "twilight"
ALISON: ok!
WENDY: did u see?
oh boy
it's awkward
ALISON: I did see it
it's very awkward
have you?
WENDY: i have watched half
oh boy
if that's what teenage vampire love is like, i'm going to take my picture down from TeenageVampireBook
and my profile
and i am not going to superpoke any teen vampires
ALISON: I totally hate the teenagevampirebook resdesign!!!!

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Sat Mar 14

The first rule of wikipedia? You must talk about wikipedia.

WENDY: wikipedia is pretty full of itself
look at me, I know everything
ALISON: look at me, I'm full of rules and special instructions that no one understands
they are like mufti
WENDY: yeah
i changed someone's wikipedia once. someone I knew was lying on their page.
ALISON: oh yeah? should we explain mufti for chris our one fan?
WENDY: oh yeah, mufti was a secret society at Pomona College which no one cared about or wanted to be in

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Fri Mar 13

Pictured: A Vagina

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Would you like to watch some TV? Perhaps some Dancing With The Stars?

ALISON: what else should we talk about?
WENDY: hmmm
britney spears showed her vagina
ALISON: nice!
WENDY: at a concert
and called it her "pussy" in front of everyone
ALISON: you're at a concert?
WENDY: no, but britney was
ALISON: I missed that first line
WENDY: i just talk about my vagina at home
ALISON: do you call it something different in front of other people?
WENDY: yeah, I call it "Dancing With the Stars"
ALISON: that's what you call it when you have company over?
WENDY: yes
i say, would you like to see Dancing With The Stars?
ALISON: because you invited me to a dancing with the stars viewing party
and clearly I didn't realize what I was potentially in for!
that's so disengenous Wendy
I feel like if you wanted to show off your lady parts you could just be more straightforward about it
WENDY: fine.
would you like to come over on Thursday for the "Idol Results Show?"
BRING LUBE

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Thu Mar 12

Wandy and Elison: Bed spallers

WENDY: i used to be a really good speller
ALISON: me too!
WENDY: i peaked in fourth grade when i went to the regional championships
in Marion County
ALISON: wow
WENDY: I lost on "ombudsman"
ALISON: how did you spell it?
WENDY: i dunno
just wrong
ALISON: yeah I used to be pretty good at spelling too
and now I'm somewhere between retarded and moronic
it's a and e that get me
like inadvertent?
or inadvertant?
WENDY: the first one
ALISON: alison or elison?
WENDY: wandy molynaux
ALISON: hm, I wonder what I twittered last night
WENDY: were you drunk?
ALISON: : nope
just kind of stapid
raterdad. I don't mean I don't know WHAT I twittered
I mean I don't know which way I spelled inadvertent
WENDY: i can't get into twitter
i really don't want anyone to know what i'm doing or how i feel
that's what makes my marriage work
ALISON: : I imagine, yes
WENDY: secrets
a wall of silence
ALISON: I've decided that my general feeling on these matters is: "please don't be yourself around me"
WENDY: emotional inaccessibility
ALISON: sounds very comforting

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