Alison Is So Worried About Me
alison: hello!
Wendy: hi
Wendy: how goes?
alison: I just got back from apartment hunting
alison: mike walked around with me
alison: it's exhausting
alison: how goes with you?
alison: also have you seen that beast of a thing on gawker? it frightens me
Wendy: it's some kind of PR thing
alison: yeah
alison: do you think it's a photoshopped photo?
Wendy: i am not sure
Wendy: and i believe that you are experiencing "generalized anxiety"
alison: like head of a turtle and body of a dog or something
Wendy: but here's the thing
Wendy: if it was real
Wendy: would be on THE NEWS
alison: true
Wendy: and yes, i am fine after the earthquake, thanks for asking
Wendy: now let's talk about an imaginary pig dog again
alison: I was just going to ask!
Wendy: ha ha ha
alison: because I just realized what an asshole I am
Wendy: my nephew called it an earth cake
alison: that's so cute!
Wendy: and said he "heard" it
alison: aww
Wendy: kids say the darndest things
Wendy: about natural disasters
alison: where were you when it hit and was it insane?
Wendy: i was on the second story of a high rise
Wendy: so it was a little unsettling
Wendy: but you know, earthquakes are great as long as you live
alison: did you get under a desk or go into a doorway?
Wendy: you pretty much know the outcome right away
alison: I've never actually seen anyone get under a desk
Wendy: are you getting a place by yourself?
alison: I just realized I didn't even mention the earthquake in the email I sent last night
alison: sorry
Wendy: i really don't care
alison: you're so proud wendy
alison: still upper lip
alison: stiff I meant
alison: but still upper lip, too
Wendy: i just thought it was funny
Wendy: that you were so worried about that imaginary pig dog
alison: well, it's scary
Wendy: and fake
alison: yeah
alison: I mean scary looking
alison: not like actually scary
Wendy: sure
alison: or rather, I mean gross looking
Wendy: true
Wendy: are you moving to brooklyn
Wendy: ?
Wendy: like everyone in new york does?
alison: well actually I'd say at this point it's 50/50
alison: I could go either way
Wendy: manhattan is deserted right? i saw that documentary, "I Am Legend"
Wendy: don't live in manhattan
alison: manhattan is completely underwater
Wendy: will smith will try to talk to you
alison: I'm wearing a snorkel right now
alison: will smith just swam by
Wendy: oh, is the head of the statue of liberty still in the street?
alison: yes
alison: hobos are living inside it
alison: hobos and hermit crabs
Wendy: well, keep a still upper lip about it
Jul 31st
I think, therefore I'm a meat piñata
ALISON: hello!
WENDY: hi meat piñata
ALISON: I feel so objectified when you call me that
WENDY: and i feel objectified when you don't
ALISON: look wendy
WENDY yes?
ALISON: I see you as so much more than the frilly bits of paper you coat yourself in
I see you as a constellation of things and ideas
you're like a tag cloud to me
and so to just call you meat piñata
feels wrong to me
WENDY: look, haven't you ever heard the saying, "tell pretty people they are smart, tell smart people they are pretty, and tell wendy she's a meat piñata" in an obscure reference to a party you went to where they actually had a meat piñata?
ALISON: I have heard that
I just don't really see how it applies here
Jul 2nd